I am still on the hunt for a full time job. I applied for a few more last Sunday night and got a call Monday to set up an interview for a full time position at the college where I work part-time.
How quickly they got in contact with me made me a bit hopeful. Yet like with most things, I fail. The interview was atrocious. I kept repeating myself to the point one of the interviewers "jokingly" answered a question for me. They gave me a typing and written assignment. I wasn't expecting that and doing a timed typing assignment in a college computer lab with a couple sitting right by me getting all gushy and handsy really didn't help. Essentially, I choked like I always do.
The stress and disappointment from this has been hard to deal with. How many interviews will I fail at? I am well into the double digits and the more I fail the worse it gets.
Then this Saturday I tried to get out and meet new people. I joined a Meet Up group to go to Oktoberfest. Maybe it was the venue, maybe it was stress from the week, maybe I just didn't click with anyone, but I felt like an outsider. Like I was just trailing along with a group that I didn't belong with despite everyone being nice to each other. I just didn't fit in.
I am not in good head space. I am starting to think that I am clinically depressed. This could explain why I feel so alone and distance even among a nice group of people.
It goes without saying that my health has suffered this week with not being a priority. There are so many things in my life that I cannot currently deal with. But my health and fitness are in my control. I know I need to concentrate more on this since I cannot control much else.
GOALS:
I accomplished nothing this week and probably just set myself back a bit. So this week is all about regaining my focus and momentum. I will just try to choose the healthier options and make working out a higher priority.
I will try to "Hang In There" this week and focus only on what is in my control
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